Greatest Hits

I belong to an online dating site and I sometimes send out messages for my own amusement more than to score a date, such as the one here. The trend continues.

Example 1. Her profile section, under “likes”, contains “Accidental alliteration.” My message:

‘Allo,

Also an accidental alliteration aficionado, adamant about associating amorously and acquiring affectionate accompaniment.

Awed? Amazed? Assuredly.

Adios.

Example 2. Her profile section, in the “Message me if” section, contains: “if you have a razor-sharp wit… and if you’re so inclined.” My message:

My wit is so razor-sharp that they won’t even let me carry it on airplanes, and when it comes to messaging you, I’m more inclined than the leaning tower of Piza.

Example 3. Her profile mentioned that she was really good at reading maps. My message:

I was struck by your claim of special abilities when it comes to orienting yourself on a map. I’m doing some related research and was wondering if we could meet up for me to observe you using a map while I hold a large electromagnet near your head? Let me know if this sounds like a good idea. The magnet may or may not be turned on.

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